SOMETIMES ALMOST FORGETTING

Sometimes I almost forget the way you used to look at me when I was looking back at you..both pretending not to see...
The way we fought from fighting to fight ourselves and to just be...
Be the way we were when we wernt being anything but who we are but had never been until we were together...
Sickie sweet nonsense never seemed so simply sensible... being with you was hard to not  do easily...
I sometimes forget how time stood still while a day with you flew by so quickly...
I forget how this tormenting longing to just touch your face used to excite me and make each day worth waking up for...
I never looked forward to growing old but you made each day new..knowing can never go back to same and you definitely made me forever different...
Days of silly and happy and passion and friendship of love and nervousness and finding my person realizing I had never truly been one until he found me...
But some rare days I forget that I'm forgetting and I remember everything..even the little things we thought were nothings..and that is my todays only something...
I comfort myself with uncomfortable quotes of how everything is good in its season and our season is over...
NONSENSE.. mushrooms are popping up and we are there hunters and seasons are ever changing but never ending so this sensibly just cannot be..but I know that it is and i dont want to know..
I want my now to be then and my then to stand still and I'd try harder for you to stay or for you to take me with you but now I can't find my way and you no longer know where I am so I'm frantically trying to calm repeating these thoughts...
Six feet down heaven feet up I still hold hope you'll return to my middle...
I forget that I'm crazy knowing I'm not..i want to believe in possibilities where your voice can still be heard on more than just my screen cracked phone...
Sometimes I almost forget I prayed to forget..pleading for forgiveness for forgetting from someone I'm almost sure I used to know but thats no longer here to hear...
Forget to stop forgetting to forget until you can't remember what the he'll your remembering to forget to remember to forget to forget about..now breath your busy it's mushroom hunting season...
I FOREVER MISS YOU!!!!!
RIP BBBB