A Battle With Irony
Isn't it funny
I swear, even the ghost of NapoleonĀ
would die laughing
when people say to you
your luck can change
with the force of the wind?
but my nosey neighbours?
two old ladies with nothing better to doĀ
well they never changeĀ
they are the noisiest women
I've ever known
and I'm talking the best partĀ
of nineteen yearsĀ
I've put up with them
on this islandĀ
always worried about my weight
and my clothes
I could be a stick insectĀ
and they would still find
something to offend me with
when I open the venice blinds
they're hung out their windows
dried up like prunes
they're like old laundry
that should've been taken in
weeks agoĀ
just staring down on meĀ
I swear I can feel themĀ
I can't help but look up
I'm always polite though...
I always say ciaoĀ
and in returnĀ
they do the sameĀ
only with fake smilesĀ
Ā
and to top it allĀ
like sweet cherriesĀ
on a magnificent cheesecakeĀ
made with cream of pistachioĀ
and chocolateĀ
I open my emails each evening
hoping for an email
that isn't actually
sent by me, to meĀ
there's nothing...
I still haven't received one
from the thousandĀ author house'sĀ
that I send my poetry too
on an hourly basis
offering me the amazing andĀ
exclusive book deal
with a very generous chequeĀ
offered for my genius
I suspect NapoleonĀ
never had to put up with this shit?
Ā
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Comments
This is our Shirley!!!Ā
No, Napoleon wouldn't put up with this shit. Never. He would shoot those
nosey ladies. Twice! Welcome back Shirley. Hugs, B
LOL well I'm still here on the island I'll be back home next week but thought I'd check in as I missed you all. Thank you for your fun review š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Hey Shirley. I read this and it's like you've never been away. A part of me, the devilish part, wants this to be true but I think it isn't. The characters are just so believable and would warrant their own book for sure. The simile about old laundry is wickedly humorous. And I love the line "I'm always polite though" said through a particular type of teeth no doubt.
But where this poem scores is that it moves beyond the neighbours to the disappointments of being a writer. "Sent by me, to me" is such a heartfelt line. The mood of the poem changes with that I think.Ā
We've all been there my dear friend - with the publishing houses, not necassarily with the neighbours. Sorry if I got it wrong about them. š¹
Hello my dearest Bernie, the entire mood of this poem is in fact in the title, I do absolutely have these nosey old bags as neighbours on this island, so writing this has given me a fun moment of payback I suppose, as for the emails I always send myself more emails than anyone else mainly recipes lol as for the book contract awe you know.me better than most,of course I'm just making fun of meeee. I'll be back home next week, where I'll have my computer. Thank you dearest Bernie š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Oh boy I need to sharpen up my act. Not sure I got anything right there. Hey ho. Love nosy old bags. Haven't heard that expression in a while. Safe journey home dear friend. š¹
Dearest Bernie, come along tell me if you like my words there is no need to dissect each poem, nobody would mind if you just said how much you enjoyed it trust me, sometimes less is more, you are not paid to critic my friend. š¤£ Relax and have fun and stop apologising we all see.different aspects of a person writing. š¹
Thank you Shirley. I really appreciate what you are saying but ............ it wouldn't be me. I do need to stop apologising though - you are completely right about that. Lol š¹Ā
well no need for apologies š¤£ š¹
Copy.Ā
Hello Shirley...
If they didn't have you to talk about they'd probably have nothing else to talk about...
Enjoy the rest of your Holiday...
No Gossip goes unnoticed...
After your gone don't be surprised if you hear the news...
I hear there's sometimes some action that gets them busy again...
Then sometimes their story ends with a heart attack or something...
Not gloating just saying...
Great write!
Thank you for sharing...
sparrowsong
Ā
LoL right sparrowsong? I've missed you, they are just old biddies bags I agree, I'll be tomorrow chip paper wrappings once ive gone š¤£ missed you sis. š¹
Hello.you...Nice to see you back and withĀ poem that perfectly describes those nosy bloody neighbours that everyone seems to experience at some point in time. Hugs x
Dearest Marion I've missed you too, yes nosey bloomin bags lol š¤£ thank you dear friend. š¹Ā