A Bump

There was a minor bump in my recovery
But please don’t judge, don’t hold it against me
I’m trying to do this on my own
I wake up everyday stepping into the unknown
I tell myself tomorrows a new day, I have to keep pushing forward
Then something bad happens in my life and I’m thrown 10 steps backwards
I’m not entirely sure if I relapsed or gave in a little to my addiction
What happened this time wasn’t anything to do with a prescription
It was something else, over the counter, causing a relatable confliction
I realized what was happening when I stopped reading the dosage description
I’m not looking to give myself any excuses 
I just need to get this off my chest, I’m currently so confused
I feel myself slipping off the wagon
I can’t take the pain and suffering I once dreaded upon
I lost something very special to me so I was no longer whole
There was something I needed to try and fix my broken hearts hole
Little did I know I was just listening to the voices
The ones in my head that don’t give me many good choices
A lot of stuff has been happening, my life is full of so much stress
I try to live to the message I share everyday, but I’m such a mess
I’m seeking redemption as I can’t be a hypocrite
Right now the only thing I can say is don’t start something you’ll have to quit
Because it gets harder each time you have to create a safety plan
Find a healthier way to fill a void, don’t give in to such high demands
I usually do this on my own, but I’m willing to take your helping hand
As long as you promise me, by my side is where you’ll forever stand

Stephanie Davis
June 2021