A Carousel Of Bittersweet Loneliness...

Emptiness,
Darkness,
Anything to stop the nothingness!
Black void, 
Endless abyss, 
Something to stop feeling like this! 
Faceless, 
Emotionless, 
Breathing another wasted breath! 
My head cracks in two, 
Spinning, 
Colliding, 
Heavy but yet weightless, 
My mind, 
A pulsating prisoner! 
My thoughts, 
An insane patient! 
A carousel of bittersweet loneliness, 

Am I not worthy for me to not look after myself?
Jesus!
I'm killing myself, 
I feel like I'm dissappearing into my last breath, 
The burning embers of my soul may reach upto the Gods and flavour the sky, 
There will be echoes of solitude but a proud dad, yet screaming like a child. 

My heart still beats but now I wilt, 
The sheet is slowly covering my vessel but yet it's silk, 
I am rich with family but in a tortured reality, 
Is this how I welcome a haunted mortality? 

With my voice strained and my body abused, if it all ends now, it's all my fault, 
Tired of being brave and staring at the moon, I need to talk instead of being a vault,
I've cried tears but ashamed, if I open up, I won't stop, 
I've looked in the mirror at my bloated face, 
Love? 
I've forgot...

Forgot how it feels when other hands touch, 
Forgot how it feels when a single kiss is enough, 
Forgot how it is feels when somebody has you, 
Forgot how it feels when love is actually true. 

Heavy but yet weightless, 
A carousel of bittersweet loneliness, 
Darkness but yet hopeful, 
A carousel of bittersweet loneliness. 

Time doesn't heal anything, ghosts still surround the deafness that kills me, 
In this deepened death that I've discovered, to see the light I have to earn to be free, 
Forever seems too far away, I can't reach happiness without controlling the darkness, 
This is why I can't climb off the ever moving carousel, of bittersweet loneliness. 

See the dark? 
See me.