A Fathers Pain

Emotional breakdown
im emotionally broken.
pillows from my bed all wet
From my tears and the loathing.
everyday in so much pain
Like a new cut opened
i got a new cup filled 
all this liquor in my body
still...no coping.
You’re half of me
half of your mother.
if I had to describe my pain
i would simply put “other”
or unbearably unbearable
wishing my head was between  two guns,
while they shoot at each other.
I really miss my daughter.
i don’t know how I’ll live
To go back to seeing your face everyday.
For that, anything I’ll give. 
I just hope when you’re older
youll see my intentions were true.
and that no matter what happens.
Daddy will always love you?