A Mother's worst fear. (Warning)

Run, run. As fast as you can. He is among me, and I have no plan.
How did this end up? Happening to me?
The serpent's eyes are as warm as tea. He manipulates me, roams in my head and more.
And people think I was being a bore.
I try, I care! But I guess 'God' never heard my prayer.
Lord almighty all powerful and strong! He never cared, when everything went wrong. 
I am determined to let things go. I am sick and tired of feeling so low!
Do you hear what I'm saying, O' holy night?!
I might as well sing the gospel, and take flight.
What is wrong with me? Blaming God for my problems.
The one I loved left me and said: "No more of you, I'm already dead." 
But why would he let that one-foot fall and flee?
And I question why wouldn't he take me?
He was young and innocent, he didn't tell me what he was feeling. 
Is it my fault or not? When he was gone, I questioned if I should just sit there and rot.
I'm done with this shit, no more kids for me. Because the one I had, didn't care for glee.
I loved him, I did. But the one last call I received on the day he was sad, I bid it.
Occupied with my work. He was so mad he needed me.
I was pissed about the one day he mistreated me.
My world is gone. It is cloudy and dark.
I look at my wrists and create that one last mark. 
Everytime the door rings, I wish it was him.
I give any of my limbs, to just see him. 
And if it was him, I'd hug him and say, "I'm sorry I ignored you, on that one last day."