A Search To Find Myself

Hello. My name doesn't matter for I'm searching for a high, it doesn't faze me if I die. I lie, cheat, and steal; this life is all too real. I'm suffering from a disease that is eating at my soul and I just want to pack another bowl. There's no one around at 2 a.m when a razor blade becomes my best friend. I'm trying to escape, you'd hate to watch me mend my heart with tape. I'm destroyed and treated and used like a toy. This prescription I abuse, searching for that first high, all I can do is use. I don't know if this helps, if someone or somehow a wolf yelps. You know not my name, but my feelings make you feel the same. I have friends who don't know why to hell I came. I will not show you the madness behind my persona of a once happy girl. Delicate and fancy like a ballerina's twirl. I've got cuts on my wrist, I just want true bliss. Listen to me I'm telling you, somehow you feel these feelings too. Trapped in the dark, in a padded room with a metal door and a large lock. Save me, blame me. I swim in the seas of insanity, my future all too dim. I know nothing of the word love, I know not why I get pushed and shoved. Please tell me why reality is driving me to a Pandora's box full of insanity. I've been to the lowest low and the highest high, maybe it's better off if I die. I am no poet, I've got a heart of gold; for I'm am told, but again I'm not a poet and we all know it. I'm just broken, these my last words spoken.