A Tribute To Ellie

A Tribute To Ellie. 
Today my best friend died.
I didn’t meet her at school, at work or in a park. 
I met her when I was two years old 
And she was merely a bundle of fluff in my brother’s arms.

Squashed snout. Enormous eyes. Alien. 
I don’t remember much. 
But I do recall thinking she was weird. 

Over time your limbs lengthened, 
Your nose wrinkled,
But your eyes never dulled

When we finally moved, we had room to play fetch! 
Or... I throw the ball and you run away with it. 
How could I ever be angry when your eyes widened more than I knew possible? 

Soccer was our game, 
I’d pass you the ball and you’d header it back to me
Or dribble past invisible defenders with ease. 

I told you all my secrets. 
I’d flick the flap on your ear and tell you my news. 
You were the best listener and you never complained or judged. 

We played soccer every day until arthritis consumed your legs. 
We told Chinese whispers often until you went deaf. 

I gave out to you for barking. 
I pushed you away when you drooled on my pants. 
I called you stupid when you gave me a glazed glance. 

I never felt a shred of guilt when I said
“I hate dogs” 
While stroking my cat,
And I knew you were staring at me with one of your lost looks. 
You couldn’t hear my words of betrayal but you could see. 
But you were too far gone to feel jealousy. 

When the fits started, 
I feared the worst was going to happen. 
But I shrugged it off. 
“I’m a cat person.” 

I came home from school today
And you couldn’t even walk. 
How could I reassure myself 
With a mouth full of chalk? 

And as you lay on that table
One last time I flicked the flap on your ear
And whispered
“I love you. I’m sorry” 
Even though you couldn’t hear. 

-