Poem -

A Villanelle

A Villanelle

I took a walk in leafy, green lined groves
WIth ideas dead and stories left undone
Beneath the painted fire of day's death throes.

And I thought of all the places life goes 
As there, beneath bruised skies and setting sun
I took a walk in leafy, green lined groves.

I found myself as new love does a rose,
Emotions high, as I let my thoughts run
Beneath the painted fire of day's death throes.

I know that when a story seeds and grows 
I should catch the words that freely come yet
I took a walk in leafy, green lined groves.

I took a walk to clear my writer's woes
And, there, the soul and passion beat as one
Beneath the painted fire of day's death throes.

Then, stories of pirates and treasure troves 
Sprang to mind. My thought process begun as
I took a walk in leafy, green lined groves
Beneath the painted fire of day's death throes.

(A Villanelle is a structured poem with strict guidelines. 19 lines of 10 or 11 syllables - usually. The first and last lines of the first tercet are repeated throughout on the last line of each further tercet  - alternating - and written as the last two lines of the last 4 lined verse. It has a strict rhyme scheme of aba aba aba aba aba abaa. I took a liberty with mine here on lines 11 and 17. I did it to make it flow better.   Hope you like my attempt.) 

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Comments

author
Marion

Just popped on to browse and ...wow!!!!
Tina...some of the lines here...
'Beneath the painted fire of a days death throws.'

'I found myself as new love does a rose,'

But more than that...I recognise this, I have taken this walk, I was truly in the moment reading this, that feeling of solitude and cleansing...allowing the channels to open and receive, that silent conversation about ...whatever. It doesn't have to be about writing but it's like walking with spirit. 
I truly love this and thankyou for enlightening me...never one much interested in the formal structure of writing( my downfall) I have learned loads. Thankyou for sharing this gem and it's truly lovely to see you posting your talent on here....a zillion hugs 💖💗❤️

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author
Being Me

Hi Marion, I am so glad you like this. Like you, I usually steer clear of heavily structured stuff but I am trying to push myself. I read that the Villanelle is one of the most hated poems for poets to write. They are not easy and this is why I took the challenge. I am truly chuffed to bits that you like it so much and that it meant something to you. Thank you so much for your (very) generous comments, I do truly appreciate it. Much love to you and a zillion hugs back 💕 x 

P.S   I have another poem to put up soon 😉 x 

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Jim "The Lad" ....

"beneath bruised skies and setting sun" love that line a lot! great write!.......................................................Jim

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author
Being Me

Thank you Jim. Hope you are keeping well. I am so glad you like this line and the poem. Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts... it means a lot x

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author
Gwendoline

This was wonderful, and so lovely to read you again :) 
I felt you did a fab job of the structure to this piece. It didn’t hinder your creativity to submerge the reader. I liked the flow and how this built up like a painting in the mind. Forming as you walked in those groves. A lovely nod to the ever seeking writer. Almost haunting in parts too. Beautifully done x 

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author
Being Me

Gwendoline, thank you so much for your lovely, encouraging comments. It makes me happy to hear that you liked the flow as so many Villanelles do not flow well at all (in my opinion) and I wanted this so badly to do so. Glad you saw the picture build too.Thank you for your awesome support x

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author
Gwendoline

So very welcome, you did a fab job :) looking forward to your next post x 

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Jill Tait

Awww I love it loads & Abfab to you Hunnybun ❤️🌹❤️

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author
Being Me

Oh Jill, thank you sooo much!  I really am glad you like it and I do truly, truly appreciate you reading and commenting. I know I haveca lot of yours to catch up on...but I will get there 😉  Thanks again for your support 💕 x

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author
Jill Tait

Awwww I love reading your stuff my lovely 💕🌹💕

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author
Being Me

Bless you Liliana 😊 and thankyou x

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author
The fish of the sea

Excellently written with a sense of professionalism that's hard to miss. You know Tina, with every poem you inspire me to write more. Glad I checked to see if you had posted any more tonight~

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author
Being Me

Awww Max...what lovely comments. I read somewhere, actually I read it in a lot of places, that the Villanelle is the most hated poem for poets to write.  Done well they are brilliant (Do not Go Gently Into That Good Night -Dylan Thomas) but if they are not done well they are bloody awful. I decided to take the plunge and write one having refused to do so for a long, long time 🤣🤣 And I wont be writing another one for an even longer time.

I am glad that you like it and I am extremely happy that my little poems inspire you to write more of your own. I think we inspire each other here on Cosmo. 

Long live  Cosmo and all who sail in her (3 hip, hip, hoorays here) 🤸‍♀️

As always, thank you so very much for reading and leaving your excellent thoughts... thankyou very, very, very much x

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author
Shaun Cronick

Tina, bloody hell and respect and admiration to you in what you have pulled off.
For to accomplish a villanelle feat is darned difficult and to find a theme that truly fits neatly is difficult enough.
And a certain Mr Dylan Thomas would I believe would have enjoyed reading and saluted you (or at least winked!) at what you have brilliantly conceived and lovingly presented.
Superbly executed and bloody well done Tina!! 
There is nothing in your poetry armoury that has a weak link and your great poetic imagination is mirrored in your mastery of well chosen, beautiful poetic words.❤️

 

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author
Being Me

Shaun, wow, I don't know what to say... Thank you of course... But your gracious and kind words leave me speechless and my morning has started with a big smile. Thank you do very, very much. You are kind beyond belief. Thank you again x

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author
Mark Olcott

excellent, a beautiful read, as if the villanelle just happened by chance, a following partner of the words in dance:)

so glad you write. 

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author
Being Me

Awww...thankyou so much Mark. I am so sorry for my late reply to your fabulous comment. I am really happy you like the poem. I did it as a bit of an exercise ... to challenge myself. Thank you so very much for your support x

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author
Neville

Wow .. if I had written your 'A Villanelle' as you yourself have written and posted it here .. Write now .. (excuse the pun) I would most probably be toasting both my muse and my pen down at the local and feeling very pleased with my self ........................ I have never yet dared to attempt one of these my friend, whereas you are clearly very accomplished .. My first fix of the day too 

Cheers, Neville :)

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author
Being Me

Hi Neville, I read that the Villanelle was one of the most dreaded poetic forms for poets to write. For ages I have pondered on the idea of writing one only to think, "Sod that!" But I succumbed and set myself a challenge. And it took an entire day lol. So glad you like it. Thankyou for reading, I truly appreciate it x

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author
Shaun Cronick

Tina, just revisiting here and again respect to you for writing this Villanelle.
A real tough poetic call but you nailed it :) x

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Lorna

Ahh, brilliantly done, 
glad you mentioned this!
👏👏👏👏
lorna xx

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author
Being Me

You are so very kind. Your villanelle was also brilliantly done. Thankyou for popping all the way over here to read it. Many thankyous xx

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