Absence of self

On that day, i plead my allegiance
Sweared to you that i will stay
But my queen, are you deserting? 
Leaving me with a simple "may(be) "
Tryed to be by your side
In every quest
But on every ending mission
You leave me "to get rest" 
I know the selfishness inside me screams
And is tearing me apart
But my beloved queen
Mend this dark and broken heart