An actual prayer

1)
 
God (MIA),

Why are you such a negligent parent? And why should we beg like refugees for morsels of sustenance from our own "Father"?
 
What so frightens you about us that keeps you so distant in your office ("Heaven" means? Is that code for Motel/Brothel?)? And if we are "family", as some legal genealogists tell us, then why the fuck shouldn't we know your name?
 
If, as is apparent, we are not already under your dominion, then us evoking your kingdom to "come" seems rather dubious, does it not? Whose roof is it we're currently living under then?
 
Moreover, given you are so alien to wherever it is within Being that we are [located?], then I'm not very O'Fey with your laws to request they be applied here. I may in fact not like them at all!
 
Now, if you do take orders for bread, I think you may need to change courier companies cause the bread doesn't seem to be arriving. Angel Express has a very low star rating these days.
 
Oh, and that thing about forgiving our sins according to our capacity... it's a bit flawed.
See, we don't do a good job of that, so it leaves us in a precarious position with retarding burdens of guilt and fear and awkward silence at best.
 
Is leading us into sinful situations really good fathering? I'm guessing it's counterintuitive and not something we should spell out for you--frankly I feel very anxious and unsafe to think you need to be told not to put our souls in front of moving busses on the Moral-Spiritual superhighway!
 
Sure, we can be dumb sheep and I can understand why we should be able to trust you to deliver us from evil...  but still, I am not sure you're the best we've got. If your kingdom isn't here yet, why should we speak of a "power" and "glory" we know nothing of?
 
All we know is pain and suffering and despair!

2)
 
Child (always before me),

I know what you need before you ask it

I am in everything, even inside you.

Sounds creepy doesn't it? LOL

See part of my attributes are in the soulstuff that holds you together and reflects off the carbon jigsaw puzzle that is your body. That's how you bear my image. I'm not so alien, (and yes, this was your spiritual "birds and the bees").

My image is my dynamic set of characteristics, and is also my name (encoded and coding but not entirely utterable by a finite human tongue). Though I do let you all babble whatever (Dada, Baba, Papa, aYah etc), and cherish it as endearing.

Indeed you live under *my* roof, but I don't force you to do its chores with whip and chain. It is up to you to receive family obligations into your heart out of love for the  household.
 
There are already other brothers and sisters of yours doing good in the world, just follow their example.
 
Actually, one of the household chores is passing around the food. You are my angel. But you need to cooperate with the others to get your "courier" on! LOL
 
About that forgiveness thing, you guys don't do such a bad job of it as you think. See, you are my children and as the saying goes, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree". Just bear in mind how little I interfere with most of your stumblings; as a good Father, I have to give you space to grow.

Oh and that "temptation" thing? That was a bad translation, your eldest brother's actual words were, "bring us not to the trial". I know family meetings on issues that require a "lecture" totally suck--mostly ending in tears. It's more a reminder for you guys to resolve things yourselves before it gets to that!
 
The fullness of my kingdom will never "arrive", it is constantly renewed by 'generations'. To pray for my kingdom to come means for your infant generation to mature and all pull your weight around the house. But that's still a long way off; you've got a lot to learn and much more capacity to develop.

Love Dad