As The Leaves Fall

Free falling into the earth as my colors change. Felt like up there I'm superman but now I'm in the lowest lane. Think before actions, how can I with out a brain? It's insane more like a shame I gotta go back the way I came. But in a different way, explain. It seems like up there the view is great but while falling you have a different way of seeing things. Your thinking changed, you grew up learning the nature of life but once you fall your situations starts to become as strange. The highschools you see on TV is deceiving. Believe me going through the constant emotional switches and finding a solution ain't all that easy. On the outside you wanna be calm with all your depression but on the inside you're screaming. Your body telling you to stay but your mind is already leaving. You flushed it out of your system so much you didn't know it can cause internal bleeding. I'm not saying the scars you leave on you is right. But once you fall you fall off into other things so I ask you not to lose your sight. Cause here I am, jobless, thoughtless, because I failed my last test. Still praying everyday cause everyday I wake up thinking im blessed. At least my mind focus, sike, it's kinda over clouded with stress. Dying slowly hoping it would hurry the fuck up or why hasn't it happened yet. I take my shot (thinking I have one) but I miss even though it's without contest. Thinking in which how can I be different in every way with out being like the rest? I ask god for and about alot of things but he replies how come you don't wanna be saved yet. My scars are about as deep as a ocean and probably stretch as far. Pain? I drink it all in but you'll never see me by a bar. While I may have too many in my hand still, I will never give you a chance to pull my card. I didn't even need life lessons to know that life itself is hard.