Ashes to Ashes...

He was fascinating 
long matted hair up to his knees
ash smeared on a ravaged body
yet resonating an unworldly strength
human bones hanging around his neck
a femur his walking stick

he was a true believer 
and a sceptic
a scientist in one life
an ascetic in this 

on a hot Banaras evening
we talked about his beliefs
why he chose this life
I asked him questions 
about everything 
he answered with a powerful sagacity
we smoked together from a chillum 
I asked him about the darkness in me

he replied
of all the Gunas 
Tamas is the truest of human nature
to deny it is to let it consume
we are born to chaos
it is the womb of man

you are not ready
to be free of the darkness
you and it are entwined for now
moksha is a long way away 
he whispered something 
as he smeared me with ash
of the newly cremated
Om Namah Shivaya
Om Krim Kalikayai Namah
we chanted together
resounding echoes of the Aghora mantra 
till the beginning of morning

as I walked away 
colored grey in the sunlight
I could see his rueful eyes
he knew
even the ashes of dead men
not enough to lead me into light. 

©Lost