"Best Friends"

I'm going to be real right now; 
Bout to tell you how I feel right now 
It's been spinning around in my membrane 
Driving me insane just trying to figure out how 
How to put it...
I'm tired of feeling conflicted and
I'm tired of feeling restricted 
Of what I can an can not say in order for you to get this 
Because when you hear this or see this you'll know who it's for
My intentions aren't to hurt you or belittle you that I must assure you 
But I'm tired of being silenced and only putting in the equation that it's just about one and not about two 
My heart hurts man 
I miss you as much as I can 
I know as we get older life is a struggle 
and we've grown apart 
And until now I've said "Guess I'll- 
Suck it up and man up and accept my part." 
But I'm over that 
So listen 
My love is for always 
And always I'll care 
At any point no matter what if you needed me (you can't lie) because you know I'd instantly be there 
And see that's what hurts and that's not what's fair 
I thought friendship was a bond and a pact 
And our friendship I would say used to go above that 
Into sisterhood I felt like a belonged 
Or maybe that's just what I've said to make me feel good 
I love you so much it hurts 
Don't look to closely at my chest cuz I'm sure I'm bleeding through my shirt 
I just don't get how 
When someone is quote on quote "is better around" 
You desert me in a desert only to drown 
You don't look after me now 
And maybe you got fed up with me following you around 
But I thought being friends meant that we were up for the highs and up for the downs 
And maybe I'm taking this way to personal 
I think I've been hurt and I think that it shows 
It's hard when you give what you can and hope that they get it 
Only to find all this time youve been taken for granted 
I get left behind 
because I can't entertain 
I don't fight for attention or to be crazy or loud or insane 
And although there's a fondness there I don't see that can end 
I guess I expected more of my best friend 
Thought you'd come to visit me I'm not that far away 
Thought you'd reply to my messages wishing you a good day 
It's just messed up and I'm fed up 
Being put on the back burner when you decide you need someone who actually gives a crap 
I'm more than that I deserve more than that I need to get my rant out now 
Because I've never been able to stand up for myself like that 
Why? You may ask? 
So that I don't make YOU feel bad. 
Look I love you and I always will 
and maybe you'll wake up one day and realize I was real 
In a world of phonies and fakes I gave more then I ever did take 
This isn't a goodbye or a farewell 
It's a how dare you take advantage of a heart that loves you well 
But I can't change it can't make you see 
That when chasing the thought to not be forgotten to the world- 
You forgot about me. 
Know I'll always be here 
Know I'll always care 
And at big events like weddings or birthdays I hope you'll be there 
But my friendship is golden and I just wish you could see- 
That your closer than you may think to losing me 
More than angry or upset or mad 
I how truly feel more than anything- is an overwhelming sad
Wow.. a lot was said that needed to be out there so I guess this should be the end 
I treasure the golden moments we had I just think...
That I deserve a better best friend