Better Hide Your Daughters

Pressure's on, must think of some sillies
My mind's yelling back “Don't got none!”
Surely there must be a few not yet posted
Through the years I've written a ton

“Okay old smarty pants, YOU check it out!”
Came a voice from deep in my brain
Now I know that last line is a bit of a stretch
My brain's gone and nothing remains

Unless you count marbles, pebbles and junk
It's pretty well devoid of smart tissue
Once got a whack on the back of my head
Now there's even a patch of mildew

That's quite a bit of self effacing humour
I should treat me better than that
Grew up together being very good friends
Liked myself more than my cat

Hang on a minute, hold that old phone
This dude has a bunch yet to offer
D'ya know I was once a Professor of Sexology
Better hide all your young daughters