Big City Love
Awaiting further instructions from the waitress
eating in darkness, restaurant
a playful hand reaching to feed me
nibbling on your fingers,
laughter
delicious mess
walking along the river
staring at the big white moon
yellow street lights
cool late evening wind
sex on the brain
my hotel’s neon sign
rental car still parked,
seems too early to say good night,
awaiting further possibilities
talking about the big white moon
ice wine in my room
sweet taste on your tongue,
perfume
chocolate truffles
silken dress falling in slow motion
taunt nipples
storm of Kisses
moisture, rigidity, entry
flesh dance tango shudder release
cool cotton sheets
watching you stand naked, texting
texting?
Suddenly feeling somewhere between a perfect dream
placid
and a stranger in my own bed
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Comments
You make the difficult look easy when you set a scene or scenarios to engage the mind.
Great reading !
Take care my friend ! :)
thanks Richard, you a fountain of great encourage my friend, it means much more to me than I can truly express, great comment
:)
This is so all-encompassing to the reader's minds eye man!!..... I'm still arguing with Cherie about the true intent here....... you paint so many powerful images in a flurry of "snowflake-like" passing that this could have been a man visiting the new city and in his lonely evening thoughts have momentarily drifted into an imaginary encounter with .." a silken dress falling n slow motion" and woken "somewhere between a perfect dream and....."......but NO!!..... Cherie won't have any of it......LOL...LOL.!....regardless, it was a such a cool write brother..... that sex was flying all over the place..... both here and in your poem....... so THANKS!!!..... big, huge, smiles.........ALL STARS..... loved it my friend!!........ peace.........T xo. ?????
lol, you give me waaaaaay more information than I expected, T, and I suspect you two don't need no inspiration....gawd, as I live and breathe, lol....okay what happened here my brother is, I wanted to describe a 'perfect date' and I wrote this long winder short story, and I hated the prose, then basically highlighted the moments, and I liked it a little more....Cherie seems to be a true romantic, but nothing is ever 'perfect' on a first date; unless you're dreaming it, but that is just an opinion....is this fantasy or real? pure fantasy, for all the points you found, you win the bet if you had one, lol...sometimes I like the comments more than the poem, definitely in this case, that was fun, be well, talk soon
wow Chris this an exceptional write! I read it twice. beautiful piece.
Another interesting one....you never disappoint with your write....always gripping....enjoyed
Warmest regards
hey Rose, thanks for saying that, glad you liked, have great day
Hey Chris.....just me....stopping by.....wow......interesting write for sure. I, however had a different take! As I read it, I thought at first it was all happening in reality. But, the ending threw a curve. So I surmised that the man in the poem....had eaten in a restaurant alone and was very attracted to the waitress who was serving him.....and perhaps had sit back and started daydreaming about her until .....he saw she had another life with someone as she began texting, perhaps at the waitress station where he could see her.....maybe she was smiling at what was text to her....she was not necessarily right beside him.....it did however interrupt his dreamy thoughts of her! It stopped his fantasy. "Stranger in my own bed".....could just mean his own skin! He is still in the restaurant and...perhaps shocked by his thoughts processing as they did in that setting!.....The waitress has no clue! Poor girl! LOL Have a good evening!.... Listen,Perhaps, maybe try ordering pizza in....lol Paula
wow, Paula, I'm honored by your comment, thank you for reading and taking the time to write down such a cool comment, and I really like your take on it as well, have great day
Hi Chris, smooth sexy write, great lines. It's leaves many interpretations, both real and imaginative, one can't tell if it was all in his mind or they actually left for the hotel.... Great job. Enjoyed this. Warm regards. Cheers.
hey, Cleo, thanks for the encouraging comment, yes the write is an experiment in 'letting go' for me, it is a bit abstract, I wanted to know how it would be perceived by readers, I'm really enjoying the comments it's getting, very cool, glad you like, have great day my friend
My Brother Poet Chris,
At least the sext "came" before the text (pun intended). Great flight. Hard start, soft landing.
Peace and Love,
xox Larry
Hi Chris, nice to see your work again. this is full of imagery and sets the scene lovely. created a lovely picture in my head as i read. quite sexy it it's own right without the smut.
cheers jeff