Bill the Bouncer

Hes so masculine
Muscular and mightily macho
As he’s pumping his iron pulsating with pronto
This beefcake bloke is a stout-hearted stallion built like a hull on a boat and the girth around the galleon
So red-blooded, robust and resolute
He’s the guy to have around in a domestic dispute

Mind you on a Monday night at nine well you wouldn’t recognise him
Bravado Bill becomes ‘Kissable Kim’
He takes off his mahoosive size twelve shoes and spreads concealer creams on his colossal calves to hide his tattoos
He has more skirts than his partner with the hemlines to his thighs and when he dresses to impresses he gives the eyes to other guys

Kim spends ages on his makeup but he has it off to a tee
False eye lashes are long, black, thick and feathery
His cheeks are rosy rouged with highlighter and sheen
Kim looks good if you know what I mean
Of course he paints his lips in bright scarlet red then he picks his wig for the night and puts it on his head

So six days a week Big Bill is a bouncer at the nightclub
He stands at the door taking everybody’s ticket stub
But as soon as it’s six thirty on a Friday night Big Bill changes to Kissable Kim to dare and delight
Working in a pub two doors down from the club
Kim gets a tenner for his kit off and twenty quid for a rub?