Blabbermouth

Never know what's coming out of my mouth
Was once in a store in Cape Cod
Some lady clumsily knocked over a stand
Blurted out, “Look what you've done, my god!”

In an elevator in the heart of downtown Toronto
A lady hit the button for the second floor
I blurted out, “That's only one floor up,”
“could've walked up and got there before!”

She came back with “What! And burn a calorie?”
“Are you outta your cotton-pickin' mind?”
I thanked her and wished her a very good night
Happy I didn't end up on my behind

Never know what's coming out of my mouth
Had a few not too pleasant adventures
Like the time starting out as a nervous bank teller
Said to a lady, “may I help you, SIR!”

Really gotta learn to keep my big trap shut
Fortunate to have survived this long
It's better to mumble and drool like an idiot
Or dance and sing children's songs!