Brand new sweater

My wife bought a brand new sweater
From John Lewis’ superstore
A fruity red little number
It made her look top drawer
But one day I noticed
Everywhere throughout the house
Tiny tufts of sweater fluff
The size of a red crab louse

Both upstairs and downstairs
Lots of tiny tufts I found
In the kitchen, bathroom and bedroom
And the front room lounge
In the garden and the garage
Outside on the lawn
Fruity red number sweater tufts
Were making me feel forlorn

They were on the hall carpet too
I swear I saw some in her hair
When she looks into the mirror
I wonder if she sees them there
The tufts have taken over
My life is falling apart
I’m at the end of my tether
It’s time for a brand new start

Tomorrow I’m gonna ask her
If I can pluck the courage up
To throw away that red sweater
I’m sick of picking up those tufts of fluff
And if my plea she ignores
Though not one to grumble or grouse
I’ll suggest that she and her sweater
Move into the summerhouse
 
My wife bought a brand new sweater
From John Lewis’ superstore
A fruity red little number
It made her look top drawer
But one day I noticed
Everywhere throughout the house
Tiny tufts of sweater fluff
The size of a red crab louse

@ rowland paul hill   10 April 2020