Brotherly bummer plods along his staid usual humdrum life

Methinks lame excuses poorly explain
absent presence gnosh hoe wing up to
acknowledge our papa's ninetieth orbit
around sun, nor dearly beloved eldest
commencement successfully, modestly,
honestly (applying her smarts) as freshly

minted (sage) University of Pennsylvania
graduate, now where webbed wide world
avails untold opportunities to make positive
accomplishments, this papa never set
similar goals for himself, he languished
leaving untested latent abilities, now glum,

distraught, afflicted with irrevocable jangling
lamentation foregoing, forfeiting, forging
pathetic enactment regarding livingsocial
versus squirreling himself hermetically
sealed never linkedin with training sights
keeping traction upon maximizing native

abilities, thus frequent depressive bouts
find me prone speculating nonexistence,
(i.e. death), yet averse toward aggressive
unconscionable dirty deeds done dirt cheap
expediting end game of Life, cuz day after
week after month... pits me against hand

to mouth monetary woe whereat cost to
maintain, insure, fuel 2019 Hyundai Sonata
takes lion's share of monetary impossible
mission to become financially solvent, and
hashtagged social anxiety deters persevering
gainful employment, where self loathing

regarding predilection with profuse sweaty
hands finds yours truly aggravated enough
to admit disability to enjoy remains of days,
weeks, months... subsumed by penuriousness
diminishes excitement toward any purpose,
plus disgruntled without webbed bliss, nor

does bound by marriage appeal, yet the
missus would be left high and dry, (or low
and wet if she dwelt closer to sea level), this
bleakness especially pronounced as role of
fatherhood no longer viable, enjoyable, applicable
aware how offspring impacted by poor examples

of parents accentuated by appalling housekeeping,
additionally progeny's psyche indelibly defiled,
hi-jacked, scarred with husband and wife devoid
of affection toward each other, and NOT prioritizing
welfare of deaux darling daughters want nothing
more with us, which evokes sentimentality, when

interaction between biological dada and then young
girls generated laughter and utterances regularly
voicing "I love you and mama" came to screeching
halt upon, particularly selfishly expending valuable
time answering and posting personal advertisements
seeking discreet liaisons, and within overheard

half conversation with earshot (even if bedroom
door locked) prurient laced conversations, and
contrived secret rendezvous (most like intuitively
suspected by eldest, she still harbors resentment

towards yours truly countless shortcomings only
vicariously experienced getting invites to fully
functional dynamic, immaculate, roomy Mainline
classmates living envious lives.

Objectionable behavior (mine) as dada also applied
not so prodigal son question judgement cast during
salutary estrangement constituting singular male
progeny within family of origin.