Calm before the storm

This is the calm before the storm,
I see the dark on the horizon.

Cant ignore the warnings
My heart is on the rise

I aint ready for this rain, 
It aint Ever been this heavy

Every level of my very 
Deepest fears. 
Now stare me in the face.

A scary understatement
My soul feels like its shaking

Cold n in a place 
That it knows 
theres no escape from

Folding like the appron 
With strings i used to drape from.

Trying to pretend ive got a cape on.

"S" on my chest like a dressing 
This mess underneath needs addressing.

Far from impressing,

Unnoticed depressed
And dependant on seshing
On something 
cause messed up
Is the only rest that i get.

This existence is testing me.