Ceremonial Poison

Convincing you to appear was the first act of magic
Getting you to stay was the first time I died
In the fire I found your face
It had fled into the flames
I can only go so far into the flames
I became a basket case worrying about your last word
Into the frozen starry night with the brilliant stars standing
So random so full of ignorance and death
I wanted to think they were Gods
I wanted to believe the lies as truth
Into a lonely version of me
A me 20 lifetimes ago
When I was a truer version of myself
Not bled into the gene pool
Not tampered with by God
I was pristine and deadly
Just the way I chose to be
So now I have made you 
My ceremonial poison and I
Will drink you down
Finding the cost of love 
Again and again