The Change

It sucks when you come to the conclusion that it will never be the same again

You try to grasp on to that hope you had but that rope that bonded you is gone and all is left is a string 

But you still hold on to that like your life depended on it. 

But soon enough you doubt everything around you and everything is clear, you soon realize that once you were a best friend but now that will never be

You begin to think what if this isn't just to one person but it is to the masses

What if the idea of fading away is better than the slow dying bond you once had. 

You tell this to the person you love more than anything in this world and you find yourself in something even you can't control

Your heart stops beating while half your brain tells you "Better to fade away before they begin to question" and the other half telling you "You messed up kid...this is a mess even you can't handle" 

From that moment on I have been living in mental misery
I feel like what once was will not be again

What we had I will never see again

Because of the words I uttered 

The words I said out of my stupidity because my back was against the wall and the thoughts in my mind

I believed it was the better solution but now I feel like I lost something much more meaningful. I didn't lose the person

I lost the years we talked about everything and anything that held us back, that bothered us and that we thought we couldn't get through

We lowered our walls to help one another but that will never happen again because of what I did. 

Now I must live with my action and I must swear to never let that happen to anyone around so I have chosen a new routine 

If a mime slowly fades away does anyone hear him scream for help....of course not 

The mime was for entertainment and as am I

He did not share emotion did not talk about his feeling he stood there and made others’ lives better.