Chest Hairs

I talk to my chest hairs every day
Hi there, you seem well endowed
You're coming along quite nicely now
There's four of you, you must be proud

Not long ago, you were only two
But as one thing leads to another
Passions explode in your frail bodies
And with hairy love you're smothered

At first signs of life, you waved with joy
As two tiny sprouts first appeared
A loving impression of a hairy family
My tears ran down to my beard

A shining example of a loving community
My beard started out like you guys
But that was quite a long time ago
Now a gathering of three hundred and five

The true measure of your value to human beans
And the bliss your existence inspires
Unknown to many, the reason you exist
Is to absorb sweat as we nervously perspire