Conflict

The man in me won't allow me to break down and cry
But the man in me sometimes wants to lay down and die
But, through these words
Somehow I try
To see the beauty in life
Let inspiration from it run through me and fight
Use this gift God has given to me and write
Ups and downs
Lefts and rights
Yes, it's life
No need to tell me twice
Nonetheless to fight is easier said than done
Hurt so much for so long,
Wonder if the end will come
By being dead and done
And having said that
I lay the routes
And mentally play them out, like...

(You choose to live? You accept more of what you're getting now - the what ifs of your ultimate goals, the demons who have yet to actually lie to you about what has happened in your life so far, the uncertainty, your faith being tested by reality, conflict in your mind overall, the inability to completely stop it which negates any amount of happiness and peace attained. Simplified, you choose self-destruction because you don't have mental discipline, even as you're trying so hard to have such nowadays, which has led to more conflict inside you. Your negativity has a set time on you, whether you're a successful music artist within that time or not.

You choose to die? Well that's self-explanatory. Almost the same as what comes from the choice to live. Only difference is you skip all the bullshit in between and cut right to the chase.

But in order to make that decision, you have to figure out what's WORTH it. Keyword there is WORTH. But look at that, you're suffering from conflict as we speak. And look at that! That suffering...can even help you make this decision! So one way or another, a feeling in you will build, and you'll know what to do because of that feeling.)