Conflict on the Soul

The look in her eyes was still the same
But there was something wrong when I called her name
Was it the fear 
Of me being near
Or the pencil sharpener that doesn’t work
Because it’s filled with bloody murk

Long sleeves on her arms
To hide all the harms
Telling herself its ok
That she will last another day
I want to help
I hear her silent welp

And I don't understand 
Why she won’t take my hand
"It’s just once" she had said
But that promise was long dead
Her smile
Lasted for a short while

But her need for her blood 
Makes her feel misunderstood
A whisper, "Just once" 
My heart stopped like I'd been punched

I can't help her from here
Even though I'm physically so near
But emotionally? It’s just not the same
When I turn to scream her name
I want to hug her and pull her close
I wish this was just a sick hoax

But it’s not, it’s real
I want to make her wounds heal
How can I help her when she said "just once"
I know it’s not; its more than just a hunch

My poor best friend
How can I make your pain end?