Dark last thoughts of hangman

My body weight lifts,
I start to fly.
Gravity is inexistent,
In the moments I cry.

Since you took your life,
The sound of the rope,
Carefully manufactured,
Tears roll, can't cope.

Dad, did you think of me?
Did you realise the grief?
Do you realise the pain and the disbelief?

Did you mutter sorry in your last breath?
As your foot stepped forward on air, into death?

I'm sorry that my thoughts are sick,
Everyone says you can't think of this!
I cannot help it, I keep hearing  the sound,
Heart breaks his feet swinging away from the ground.

Did his last moments last a long time?
Was he in pain? Or did he change his mind?

Dad I miss you, 
I can't help but weep!
Out loud I speak to you
When alone and asleep.

It doesn't seem real
Your rough fingers I cant touch,
I just want you to know I love you so much.