Dark world
Find me
Sometimes i feel like i was born in a dark hole Can you really see clearly anyways with your eyes open. The person you thought and known to love you hurt you more then a stranger ever can. I wanted to see i always wanted to see and i cant see anything just blurry faces who caused me pain It hurts i repeat it hurts stop it i repeat stop it. I breath they say just breath but really every breath i take feels like my last Im stuck i wanna release but how can i be release if the world is a dark whole i can never see. Love i ask is love attention is love pain is love kisses what is love if i cant see who's coming and what to expect how do i know if im receiving the right love is love pain is love sadness is love happiness. The anxiety i feel skips away sometimes but only because someone shows their self for a moment a good moment of time to say when and where they can control you i just want light i just wanna see
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Comments
I can sense such a strong sadness within the poem. Like you are looking at your life through a foggy glass -- trying hard to come to terms with past abuse and struggles.
Good job getting your voice on the page.
Favorite lines:
I think it could use some light editing. Other than that, the poem was well written and narrative in style.
Hey NICOLE!!..... the pain and loneliness of this piece definitely jumps off of the page...... with some VERY powerful phrasing..... but that phrasing is difficult to decipher because of the way this is formatted.... your lines/phrases would be SO MUCH more powerful if they were broken into the intervals that would make them stand out ~
~ "Is love attention
Is love pain
Is love kisses
What is love if I can't
See what's coming
Or know what to expect..."
ALL STARS!!...... well done dear poet sister..... and.......WELCOME to COSMO!!.......LOVE & ROCKETS!!.......T xo. : )