So I found my self single in this modern day and age
At the point of wanting to date, and ready for it stage
But then I realised just, how drastically it’s changed
And my single companions are getting further out of range
So online I go as that seems the way to be
It’ll be fun they all said il meet someone perfect just for me
Get on the app crap and start swiping, this is what they say
But 10 cringey dick pics later, and it’s only been a day!
Wasn’t sure to this, just quite how to respond
As in the 3 previous messages I felt there was a bond
But nope wishful thinking I was only being silly.
When really all he wanted was to show off his horrible willy
A few days in and I’m bored to shit
The lack of intelligence, conversation or whit.
Same conversations all day long
Just a different face that is still obviously wrong.
So 3 days later and I’m back where I started
A little less hopeful and a little more dishearted.
So il tell you what I’ve learnt, from my app crap dating days.
That all is not as it seems or even as it says.
The profile might say, he is a strong old six foot one
But when he turns up at five foot four it’s not a lot of fun!
Second rule I’ve learnt, that has proved a valuable loot.
Is that if in pictures he wears a hat, he is as bald as a coot.
So this is my wisdom from my singledomly days
In fact fuck it Im done I’m off to join the gays!!!!