Deadly Alive

The page is empty..its blinding white
so I have no choice but to write
to kill the nothingness with words
is to bring the somethingness to life

The popcorn ceiling above my head
is invisible now so is it dead?
or is it just darkness and that's why
I can't see anything as I lie in bed?

Because if it IS dead - then so are all of my thoughts
that haven't yet been said
so are all of my poems that haven't been read
because I haven't even written them yet

Because whats the point in bringing them to life
if they're already dead?

The eyes watch me intently 
and the lips are speaking immensely 

They belt out saying too shut my own eyes
and cover my ears so I'm deaf and blind 
but I'm not anyways - I can see in my mind
colors and explosions of feelings 
that are not only ever mine

I can see what I feel and people around me
their heart speaks to my heart which in part
transfers it to my minds eye so I can see

My soul whispers of the wilderness and outdoor moonlight
and how I can't pretend to be dead
its blaspheme to say I'm not alive 

My lovliness pumps blood through my veins
and calls me be name
and defeats the evil that puts on constraints

I am alive
I am awake
I can feel
I can see
I can hear
I am real

I won't be silenced by the demons of the night
I'll write down my unedited untamed thoughts
and wait for the savior to bring them to life

I'll wring out these rags of lies
and leave them to rot
I'm tired, but silenced and quiet
and forgotten I am not

I will pour my heart out into
poems and art that are unique and new
I will create as only I can do
and I will gladly dream my dreams for you

Let me be your night light tonight
no need for candles or fireflies
because I will lead you to the ceiling
so that you can breathe alright 

No funeral for my heart's blurts tonight
Because the darker it is...the brighter I shine.