Dear Mother

Dear Mother,
Remember when you saw me in that hospital bed
While my heart wasn't beating in time
When I felt that I'd never be fine
You saw me with blood on my wrists
And tears on my face
All because my mind wasn't in the right place

Dear Mother,
I heard you lie to the doctors while I was asleep
You said that you'd told me about this before
You said I could always talk to you
But that always ended up in slammed doors
I didn't talk to you because I didn't trust you
Because you told the doctors that you told me never to do this to myself
When you never gave me any advice at all

Dear Mother, 
Remember instead of helping me yourself you sent me away to the hospitals
And threatened to put me in foster care to try and scare me into shape
As if depression and anxiety is something I've willingly brought upon myself

Dear Mother,
Remember how when I went back to school I called you to tell you I threw up
And you didn't believe me
Even though for the next 2 weeks I was bed-ridden with a fever
And dehydrated from the pills I'm forced to take

Dear Mother,
Remember how it was somehow all my fault
You said that I'd been acting like I joined a cult
Because my mind wasn't working right
And I acted like I was fine
Because you ignored me when I told you
Because the only person you love...
Is you