Nightmare

When will I wake up
I must always be sleeping because my life is an ongoing nightmare
I know I have to be awake though
Because I still feel so much pain
I’ve tied so many nooses
And held my sharpened blades
I’ve taken hundreds of pills
I’m just trying to numb the pain
I promised not to do drugs
Or drink or smoke or place the blame
But I know that it wasn’t just me who caused all this pain
You see my father left when I was young
He never bothered to watch me grow strong
And my mother loved to do drugs
So she yelled and pushed my sisters and me
And it hurt so much when I had to leave
My baby sisters I’ve had to leave behind
But I promise I’ll come and get you in time
I’m sorry I’ve made so many mistakes
I’m just trying to stay strong and not break
My little sisters they’ve got their dad
And I’ve found a place to stay with my Gram
I’m sorry I’ve cracked
I know it’s all in the past
But somehow I know this pain hasn’t passed
But baby I’m trying to promise you right now
We will get through this hell
There has to be sun on the other side
And when we see it I know I’ll cry
But to get there we have to try
Little sisters I love you
And mother and father I’m trying to forgive you
I’ve been trying so hard and I’m not sure why
But I’ll keep living through nightmare till I see the sun or die