Decide or Hide

🧠     
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^    MENTAL-HEALTH
your brains gravity 
When it’s missing 
your mind is gone 
Outer space
rotating in orbit 

Thoughts of self hate 
you're afraid to be yourself 
Always trying to be someone everyone wants
you to become 
So you fit in 
where you can get in,
that’s no life to live ​​​​​
FOR ANYONE OR YOU 

Where’s the self-love?

A foundation of
self-worth 
you can build from 
Lost in translation
You can find one!
"No you can't"
says your subconscious
speaking a dangerous language 

Crowded contradiction 
mixed with
clouded values 
Not aware of
the disarray 
because your whole life 
you have been this way 

Born a star 
shinning bright 
with each day and night 
they took the sparkle 
little by little
out of your eyes 
and every year 
you began to fade 

Until now
and it seems
The dream
became a nightmare
and you've faded
all the way away from anything that resembles yourself from back in the day
when you felt okay
but now you don’t 
and won’t ever

it seems
no matter
the whispers you hear
of a different pattern
waiting for you
to jump ship to
but out of fear you’ll drown , you remain stuck abroad
a battling one
knowing you can fight
just fine, all the hits and adjectives you’ve taken to the flesh and ears both relaying to the heart your worthless still hasn’t broken you yet
So why chase a possible outcome that might lead to positive change? or it could cost you your life? But isn’t YOUR LIFE,  COSTING YOU YOURSELF?and then the doubt kicks in , the door is wide open and that scares the hell out of you: 
​​​​BEING VULNERABLE 
so you quickly slam it closed and put the chain and bolt through the receiver as you twist and turn the deadbolt and lock on the doorknob , falling to the floor sitting indian style against it with your head down
This is where you
feel the most comfortable
But yet: THERE'S
A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE  but it doesn’t matter! Because regardless your heart and passion your mind just can't  fathom
the fear of loss for hope to gain, You're a train wreck and it’s not your fault but damn it you must deal with it because the real culprits don’t give two shits about the mental warfare they started and left you to handle
But you aren’t willing to grasp it , your mind can’t wrap around what needs to be done

You keep questioning every thought that might lead to somewhere more positive , the bad always outweighing the good so you justify staying the same and remaining a pawn in the victims chess game

Serving a life sentence of giving into a past that is behind you and forgetting about the future ahead of you out of fear of your own thoughts ....... lost.... hurt ... insecure..... bitter... mad....angry....unworthy...sad...decided....undecided...?????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????You can’t make up your mind , hostage to the comfort of bad patterns not realizing a whole other side to this dark spectrum , not understanding why? , not realizing a change necessary to carry the burdens and discard them, but you keep giving up on yourself as a result of lack of confidence
Why do these feelings always work against you? , you ask yourself . Does anyone care?and the answer is : never as much as you do about yourself! 
So why won’t you quit giving up and give in? , why keep sitting head down in the comfort of your sorrow dreaming for tomorrow to come and it be different knowing you’ve remained the same? Versus standing tall , head up and taking today and making it your own so tomorrow will follow today’s lead and today’s grief tomorrow becomes yesterday’s pathetic sad story and tomorrow marks the beginning of the new chapter filled with battles and disaster but as a result of the pursuit to happiness and laughter

So get up off your ass and quit feeling sorry for yourself and make today’s problems tomorrow’s yesterday’s and tomorrow’s story a happier one than today’s or NOT , it’s only your choice to make!
👇YES, ONLY YOU!!