De(e)pression

Living paycheck to paycheck barely making it to the next pay period. In debt up to my neck, maybe a knife would be better in its place. I hardly sleep, rations to eat and my car note due this week.  Plenty numbers in my phone but we rarely speak. It’s on me! I admit it, I’m purposely being distant.  Living inside my bottled up feelings. I know I should pop the cork but it won’t budge. Someone help me I’m drowning but how would they know. My norm is smiling and pretending I’m all good. Then I wonder why I’m misunderstood.  It’s the guard I won’t let down. Maybe if I seek help I can resurface. But what the purpose when you feel worthless. Not all problems can be solved with a prayer, God and amen. SOS