Depression

I got a deep depression I don't sleep when I need the rest and so I got a crippling anxiety inside me that's about to eat my flesh, man, I just want to feel relief and lessin all the needless questions, but I keep on stressing and I keep obsessing I keep looking at my phone every three damn seconds just to read my texts, then I keep refreshing Instagram every minute just to see some bare skin. If you wanna hurt me, you don't need a weapon cuz I keep the stress in so deep, that I'm probably going to bleed to death from all the ulcers, diseases, infections, and hunger to reach perfection. I used to take drugs just to ease the tension but when you take drugs the grim reapers present, I ain't talkin about the reefer you need for stress, I'm talking about the painkillers that'll keep you sweatin. I shouldn't be alive here's a bleak confession I was overanalyzing every regret I got so emotional inside I want to go somewhere and hide. So I climbed up to the roof of the tallest building, took the deepest breath and close my eyes, then I JUMPED.

 like finally I can be free from stressing, free from this deep depression. I braced for impact I'm going to go smack on the street in seconds. The fall took longer than I thought it should, I spread my arms and tried redirecting my body so I could hit the ground sooner. I'm ready to die like Heaven's waiting. I decide to open my eyes and holy shit I was levitating, you got to be joking, I never hit the ground, I was in the air floating.

​​​​​​ I grew two Big White Wings when I jumped and now both of em were open and I couldn't even close em. Above my head was a Halo, I said to myself, 'Uh, if I'm not mistaken, I think I'm an angel, yep, I'm an angel, look I'm an angel, I see it myself, I don't believe in Angels though.' 
 which makes sense cuz I don't believe in myself. My wings are spread I'm flying so high right over my city, you know what, I never realized, God damn man, this place is kind of pretty. Look at that Sunset sitting on the horizon. Look at that man playing songs on the violin, just want to put a couple dollars in his hat, his song is so pretty I just want to go and clap.
 look at that homeless guy, he looks hungry he probably needs a ride to the shelter. Look at that pregnant woman trying to cross the street, man, somebody should help her. Look it's my grandmother, look it's my damn brother holding hands walking to the store. Look it's the guy that I loved for years, he's on my front porch knocking on my door. I want to talk to him, wait, no my life can't end, oh my God there's my kids in my backyard playing, I forgot to let them inside, I remember all the lonely days where they would bring light back to my life, I swear I would hug them and hide. Their kind of young and don't know right from wrong I'm the only one they got so they will probably go to a foster home. No I don't want that, wait, right there in the cemetery where I'm buried and on my Tombstone it says, Here I lie, proud of myself that whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger.
FUCK, I let em down, I should've made it longer, I realized that my life cannot get better without me, I realize that my life on Earth was never about me. Happiness comes from helping people, from maken em feel good and showing that I care. I blinked my eyes and I was laying in my bed. I didn't really die, it was just a nightmare. I got out of bed, and put on my shirt, shoes and pants. I guess I'll give this life thing one more chance, shit, I got a deep depression, I don't sleep when I need the rest and sometimes I fall asleep and dream of death and I wake up feeling refreshed like I guess I just needed some decompression.