My Father

The feeling of being abandoned
For over eleven year's
Has left my mind stranded
In a place that everyone fear's

People make fun of those with "Daddy issues"
But I promise, it is not funny at all
For the darkness in their minds continue
Because they were just left to fall

I am one of those hand picked few
Living my life woundering what I did wrong
What did 4 year old me do to 33 year old you,
That made you stay away for so long?

I asked myself that question everyday
Then you came waltzing back into my life
Expecting me to do what you say
Just because soon I'm going to be someone's wife

I play it off like it was alright
That not having you there didn't mess me up badly
I just got you back, I didn't want to start a fight.
And even after all you've done, I still wined up calling you Daddy.

Forgetting what you did was easy at first
Then you told me to call off the wedding
You just made matters so much worse
It's going to be something you will be dreading.

Remember, you left me with only my mother
So yes I act so much like her
I would say the same thing for my older half brother.
​​​​​Because of you, I lost everything me and him once were.

I searched for that missing love
In all the wrong places
When push came to shove
I've already went through so many face's

Just trying to find that missing piece
That has left me dead on the outside
And pitch black underneath
I now have nothing else left to hide.

You say that I act so much like you now
Buy I'm not leaving my kid's anytime soon.
I'm telling you, I AM taking those wedding vows
No one can stop me, not even you.

You know, After I've been to hell and back,
After I got myself unstuck,
After I stopped that last bleeding crack,
You desided to show up.

Creating problems that wasn't necessary
Claiming that you have a right
Approving who I can marry.
Is there something wrong with your hearing? Or is it your sight?

Do you even know what my mother did?
How many guy's she brought into my life?
Just for me to have a father figure while I was a kid?
Just to have it backfire, and stabe us in the back with a knife?

You'll never understand what I have been through
You're not even gonna listen, so why even bother?
I'm no longer that 4 year old girl you once knew,
And now you, are no longer My Father.
​​​​​​