Poem -

Different Versions of Me

Borderline Personality Disorder

I wonder if the version of who I thought I was really ever existed
I wonder if the version of who I am now really even exists?
I wonder if the version of who I imagine to be even exists
I'm a bundle of life in many different versions
I could be happy, I could be sad, I could be frustrated or just simply angry
Versions of me that I thought I knew and understood
But that's not likely, so why did I think that anyone else could?
Why did I believe that anyone else.... Would?
I'm a person trapped inside of a person trapped inside of another person
Or have I summoned the voices that created this spiraling illusion?
I've got one brain, but a mind accompanied by many
For I am the root of this delusion and all's it's company
Versions of me that I no longer need, versions of me that I no longer want
Versions of me that need to be laid to rest so that the real version of me can be upfront
I'm a rollercoaster with no ending in sight
A true mental case who clearly can't seem to get life right
But is the person who is writing this.... Even me? Or just another version of me
I'm as confused as they come, even with the sun shining bright
But there's still hope that one day I find the version of me who sees the light
Then maybe the versions of me can finally stop their trembling fight
Do you ever wonder if overthinking can be over thought?
Or is it just a battle in your own mind that you try to keep taught
Why do people say that misery loves company?
When I can't even find the real version of me
These things that live inside of my mind are not real but surreal
Or maybe it's what the voices tell me that's how I should feel
At the end of the day I'm still wondering what version of me.... Is me?
And when did I let misery come in and steal the only thing I ever had to myself?
My mind..... And the real version of me
I wonder if the version of who I thought I was really ever existed
I wonder if the version of who I am now really even exists?
I wonder if the version of who I imagine to be even......exists.

Stephanie Davis
12/05/2023
Ā 

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Comments

author
sparrowsong

Hello Stephanie...

Sounds normal to me...

Maybe, we're all just a little Harmless Nut?

Great write!

Thank you for sharing...

sparrowsong

Ā 

Reply
author
Rory McGinlay

Agreed with Sarrowsong. This IS normal, only, they don't teach you this, do they? You sort of find out yourself that you are infinitely changing and adapting to the Flow as it were, of The Force. Careful about being sold this True you, you make reference to. It may not exist. Shrewd. The most interesting things that are said are the things people don't say, don't you find? Cool poem.

Reply
author
Stephanie A. Ludwig

Wow. Thanks for the thought out feedback and comment. I appreciate your kind words. And yes, I completely agree with you.Ā 

Reply
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