Ding Dong, Texas

Met this gal from Ding Dong, Texas
Had warts all over her bum
I know because she showed me them
I got up and started to run

Her six foot twelve hulk of a brother
Said, "Boy! Best ya sits y'self down!"
I knew I should listen to brother Luke
The meanest damn dude in town!

So Anitabath, his ding-a-ling sister
Cozied up and quietly whispered
"How's if we have some fun in the hay?"
I quivered at having to kiss her!

I said okay as this ding-a-ling stripped
I cringed at her wart covered bum
Saw a chance and tried to scurry away
But Luke was on guard with a gun!

"Just where d'ya think yer goin', sonny?"
As he blocked my escape with his brawn
Just then I spotted a tiny opening
Took off like a skitterish young fawn!

I heard the ominous crack of Luke's rifle
Felt around but could feel no pain
Got into my pick-up and took off like a shot
Never gone near Ding Dong again!

There's definitely a moral in this sad little tale
Don't hang out in a bar in Ding Dong
Less you're ready for some Texas hospitality
Say, "So long, sayonara, I'm gone"!