Disassociated Relations

Ever have a dream so real 
You can touch the lips
But before you can taste the scent 
Reality snatches back it’s grip
Cruelty 
I suppose that’s why some say 
“Every nightmare begins as a dream”
Or did I imagine 
The cast overhead 
That foreshadowed the illusion
Fusing the visions creating the disillusions,  
Before the overcast concluded 
Dead 
On arrival, my survival may be optional 
In either realm
I’ve disassociated my reality 
Having lived, life thoroughly 
With all it’s fragility 
Fractured from the pained
Stained, by the regret of past actions 
Playing back acts,
He wishes to re-enact 
Hoping to rearrange the deceit and lies
So it portrays the truth when exposed to the light
Plight
Unpleasant to the tongue
Diseased by the touch
But unavoidable to change the outcome
Have I gone to far?
Lead astray by a malfunctioning moral compass 
Lost and confused
Deranged by the anger that damaged the mirror
What have I become?
How did I not see it coming
After all the running
Hiding
Lying…
Knowing but never realizing
Like I was
Less than living
But barely more than dying 
Surviving
Another day, out pacing 
The consequences 
That hunted my senses
And faded my consciousness 
Til “it” completely devoured me
“It” being….
I don’t know
Something deep within 
Fabricated by the fabrications
Being sown to the fabric of my soul
Being shown by the false reality 
I was showing 
Reality being the only real thing about me
I crumble after 
Built walls tumble down
I’m humbled
After my guarded love 
Stumbles out
Then I ask myself….
“What now?”