Doorstep man

Blimey mate 'ave a heart, I 'aven't got a bean!

'onest, I ain't try'n a dodge me payment wiv' some scheme.

It's Chris'mas see, 'wot cleaned me out, me poor 'ol purse is bare.

I searched the 'ouse like muvver 'ubbard 'n' nope, ain't nuffin' there.

I swear that if I 'ad the dough I'd defo' pay me loan!

But 'ard times 'ave befallen me, tho' I ain't one to moan.

Yeah I know I've had some beers 'n' now I got a fag on,

but thems me bare essentials else I turns into a dragon!

Flat screen smart TV? Nah mate! I swear down it ain't mine.

It's just 'ere as a favour like, fer a pal 'wots doing time.

What about the shiny motor sittin' in me drive?

I got that 'wiv me benefits, I'm ill see? ain't no skive!

'an dontcha touch me X box one! I paid fer that meself!

Like I said, they gives me dosh....due to me bad 'elf!

Nah bro', I can't sign no forms. I fort you would've 'eard?

Me eyes is up the swanni bad 'n' evryfin's all blurred.

Oi! Watch me new desighner treads, don't scuff 'em 'wiv me door,

'n' don't be grabbin' 'old of me! These togs is "oat coochore"!

I would walk down yer office guv, but as I keeps on sayin',

me back 'n' legs is useless 'cept for when I do me prayin'.

Can't call up 'n' pay by phone, me credit's gone fer ringin'.

Me 'ol man took me last few quid 'n' now he's pissed 'n' singin!!!

I promise ya' next week fer sure, on me chavvie's life!

An' if I lets ya' down me friend.....then you can give me strife.