Dreams

Why won't she get it? My family falling apart and i need someone who listens. Check your local listings cause it's you that i been missing. What's a couple bad bitches to a good girl. Im tired going to sleep and dreaming about who i can't see but i know she's there waiting on me. Then wake up to alarms, feeling bombed cause it was only just another world. Created to my likeness. I know its bad but i liked it. Cause i know if i get shot and it hurt like pain to me. Then me being in love aint a dream it's plain to see. I think the times i would go over messages hurt the soul. You can't recreate the things you made that's gotten old. And once your heart warm again then turn into cold. Cause you were wett dreaming, sleeping, thinking that they were the one to hold. I felt so bad one time. She was inside my mind. Pride in the way making me seem like i was dead inside. I reached out to grab her, i couldn't, i really wanted to cry. J. Cole playing in my head while im inside my bed. Slipped into a deep sleep more of a coma instead. Whispering a remix of rhymes while hearing lines like damn it feels good to have you. You love me regardless of my missing or loose screws. Damn it feel good to have you. You love me unconditionally who am i to say i need some proof. I've been surrounded by all fake shit. The "not practice what you preach" shit. Numb to the touch but when you touch me i can feel. Closed up in yourself, but you opened up and showed me real. You taught me that when you got something some other person want and you ran away they step up on your heels. Trip you and trick you into spreading your legs or giving up some dick. And when you argue with him on the phone about how they hurt you, soon you gonna hear a "click". Have you ever seen billie jean? When mike was explaining his side piece while lighting the block up it was mean. I look at you as if you was that person to make the bed light up cause i felt alive. Now im overprotective, i can't let go this much expression, come here, she's mine.

Oh back to the why won't she get it. You are the only one. My best friend. Ima need you to be honest with me. Im fragile emotionally when you speak do it carefully. Words cut deep. Do you trust me? Cool beans. A great actor what a nice scene. Im falling apart. I aint gon have none of my grand parents for some advice. My mom getting her heart. Ripped out her and she cant seem to make it stop. You don't know how much she means to the family nah. If she dies do you know that all of my uncles wouldn't have any parents, including my ma. Did you know that my grandpa died nearly 7 years ago and i did not attend the funeral. Only cause that bald head wasn't mostly visible. But the time we did spent damn it was critical. Now they don't know why im crying they asking like what gotten in to you? Pressured in to school. I want to go back but not for the majors they want me to. I don't know if you know what watching your grandma and mom die slowly together feels like. Probably because when im with you i forget to tell you because it feels right. Mama was telling the truth when she said i hate going home. I rather live with y'all be fine on my own. Feels like soon as i walk in and give a great big grin. I was supposed to make a day. But all i see is hate. Family members i haven't seen in ages. Wanna come around now when it's at it's last stages. And they all got they finger pointed at my grandmas ex husband cause he around now. They still want him to leave cause he cheated years back, but they found they way back. He still up to no good and that's gon get his shit cracked. I talk to her even though sometimes it pains me to. When i say get up i mean it literally too. I wanna take her out to the best steak house, her favorite spot. While they arguing and fighting aint really saying alot. Sneak her out of here and watch tombstone, one of your favorite movies. Lay my head on her making her laugh by being goofy. The point im trynna make. If you think ima mistake. Then remove me. But just know before you do. Think of all shit that my body bout to consume. Three bodies turn up gone you know how much hope that'll fill up the room. None. So again i say damn it feels good to have you. I've accepted the fact that you don't love me in that way you used to. And that was something i got used to. Cause even though i can't have you i don't care you get rid of all the pain im used to. So when you think my life is sweet because you see me in fancy shit. Or you think im not struggling cause my house nice than a bitch. Take another look at this picture perfect painting i made it cause you can have it if we ever traded places. I just rather be around alot of love than hatred.