‘Drunk as a skunk’

He was as ‘Nissed as a pewt’
as he fell off his chair
He landed head first in the garden pond
with frog’s spawn in his hair

At a party at his neighbours house
where he had too much to drink
they dragged him out of the stench
when the heat made him stink

Well he was as ‘Drunk as a skunk’
on a bucket load of booze
with his soaken wet clothes
& a dam great bruise

Just as well he was mortal
It probably served him well
he had broken his collar bone
It would have hurt like hell

Never-the-less he didn’t feel it
so he drank a bucket load more
by halfway thru the party
he was lying on the floor

At the end of the evening
all the guests went home
his wife said to leave him
with the garden gnome

When he roused the next day
It was time for bed
he had lay there twelve hours
with a mighty sore head

Mind you he lived to tell the tale
& tho he was riddled with pain
He got invited to a barbecue
where he did it all again