EMpty Motivation

What a wild ride this is … this ride of life.
The up and down and all around..
and then back to the ground,,
It just does not ever ease up does it?
I thought it would get better
I kept hoping hey if I just make it one more day.
If I just get over this hurdle surely it will
let up.
That some of these things I am trying will work.
That something positive will manifest.
That one of these motivational fucking videos
will be more than a waste of my air
I just feel like I am going to burst .
With all the empty promises.. all the
unkept see you laters and I will be there …
All the tears I have cried in lonely agitation.
I am trying to keep a positive mental attitude.
I am trying to let go and let God.
I just am having a hard time faking the smile.
The shoulders are getting a bit shaky
The  dreams are becoming nightmares.
I just want to wake up and it be a better day..
at last.