The endless way

I’m standing at the edge of the sand looking out over the ocean
Wishing the waters would take me away…or at least I am hoping
What can one do…what can one say
Living life the endless way
I kick sand when I walk
I get frustrated with myself when I talk
Powerless, in powerful world I strive
I’m taking each breath like I am barely alive
I got those pistol thoughts again
I got those visions to commit sin….again
I fight the urge like an addiction
It’s like a sickness….self infliction 
Confused with what I am thinking
I turned my life back over to drinking
Tired by life as I walk this shore
Thinking they can burry me at the oceans floor
I’m fighting the resurrection of the old me
I’m trying to hold on…like they told me
There head bowed toward my feet
Like I’m lost in defeat
I’m at the edge of the sand looking out over the ocean
Thinking what was written for my life…has me barely coping
I got nothing left to do, I have nothing let to say
Stuck living life…..the endless way