Evil Ex Boyfriend #8

You lied to me when you were sober
But told me the truth when you were drunk
Sober you, always said sorry
Drunk you, showed that sorry
 without change is manipulation
Sober you, always said you cared about me
Drunk you, always told me the opposite, 
Just how much you actually 
truly hated and despised me
Then when you just started to drank
From the beginning of the sunrise
To the ever last moment of the sunset
That's when things changed, 
Became horrifying and turned around
That's when I knew, things
between us were never sound
You became the true meaning of an abuser
You cheated on me with an underage girl
Just because I wouldn't allow
 you to trick me into using her
When I kept denying a threesome
You just went ahead and did your own crime
You cheated on me with
 an underage girl, so.. Wholesome
Things after that got even worse
This is when my life started to
 feel like it was forever cursed
You threatened me with words. 
You said you'd run me over
One winter evening, 
that almost came true
That one winter evening,
 I knew it was you!
That evening I was wishing
 on the closest 4 leaf clover
You would take butcher knives 
and hold them to my throat
You used to walk up behind me, 
and put your arm around my neck
To the point I was losing the ability
 to breathe and starting to choke
To this day if I see a butcher knife, 
I am a complete nervous wreck
You caused more mayhem than anything else, 
Causing turmoils and extreme havoc
You were always drunk so you
didn't know what real food was
I had to make or cook the same 
shit for you every damn day
And if I didn't make or cook your food correctly, 
You'd take your plate of food and 
walk to the trash can and throw it away
You'd then push me hard into the counter, 
my back being pushed into the edge
Making the dishes in the strainer
Come loose and fly onto the ground,  off the ledge
You cheated on me so much
with this not so innocent underage girl
You ended up really changing my whole world
I was faithful, I was honest, I was loyal
You treated me like a slave and
I still treated you godly, 
like you were some kind of royal
So when the doctor came into the exam room
And told me that I contracted an STD
I was shocked, speechless! 
Because I knew it didn't come from me!
I guess I can say I'm pretty lucky, 
That it wasn't anything of the sorts of HIV
Nope, in fact, you gave me HPV!!
The hell I've been through because of this
The hell I've been through because of you
Any kind of justice, simply just won't do
I've had to have surgeries to 
get rid of precancerous cells
I've had to have tests done on my cervix
Just to make sure that all is well
I'm on the mends now, I'm finally clear
But I'll never forget any of this hell
Because sober you lied to me, 
always said you cared
And the drunk you, became who you really are
The drunk you, was always gone, never there
The drunk you gave me something
That will always remind me of you
And that's so hard sometimes to bare
Because you made my life so truly unfair!

Stephanie A. Ludwig
04/30/2025