~Exhiled~

A formal feeling consumes me inside 

After the great agony of pain the fading heartbeat fades slow 

The nerves become still, like tombs 

And the crimson runs cold 

My thoughts are racing in my head 

Comfortably numb is Death 

Curse this life, I will live with it no more!

It has mocked me, starved me,

Beat my body broken and sore!

Ah, I am worn out, I am wearied out 

It is too much, I am but flesh and blood 

Lonely I came, and I depart alone 

And know not where unto whom I go 

Thus I to Life, and ceased dark, dark, is all I find for metaphor 

O little words, how can you run so straight 

Across the page, beneath the weight I bear?

How can you fall apart, whom such a theme 

Has bound together, in trivial expression that have been so hideously dignified?

And all the while, for every grief each suffering, I craved relief 

All sin was of my sinning all atoning mine, of all regret 

Mine was the weight of every brooded wrong, the hate

That stood behind each envious thrust with individual desire 

Craved all in vain! I felt fierce fire no hurt I did not feel, no death 

That was not mine, mine each last breath 

From the compassion that was I

All suffering mine, and mine its rod

Ah, awful weight! Infinity pressed down upon the finite me!

My anguished spirit like a bird beating against my lips I heard 

And so beneath the weight I lay and suffered death, but could not die

For my omniscience paid I toll

In infinite remorse of my soul. 

Copyright 04-26-2017