The eyes that never cry...

Why dont we let people see us when we are weak? I never cry unless im all alone with no one around. So why do i want to curl up and cry in your arms...? Why do i want to let you close when you hurt me last time? Why do i want you so close it hurts? I am not sure why i want you close to me and im not sure why i left your arms?! i was safe and i was loved but i feel so alone and so unprotected. I miss laying with you and laughing at the tv. I miss your laugh and i miss your smile. I miss looking into your eyes and being able to tell you the truth and be able to be loved by you still and not leave me no matter how hurt and fuck up i am. Why did i ever leave you? I still dont know why i left your arms, your heart, I dont know why i let you run off with my friend. I dont know why i want you back i dont know why i still love you after you hurt me. Why do i hurt day in and day out? I didnt have feels but anger with you last week and now im fallling for you all over again. Why? Why you? Why me? Why her and why now... Why cant i just be loved for now and for ever. Why must my eyes be hiding all the pain and why is it my smiles having to help hide the pain you have me in please tell me why?! I dont want to hurt anymore so why cant i just walk away from you with a smile on my face. Why is it that every time i see you i want to cry when just last week i wanted to hit you. Why is it now i want to cry!? Why cant you see the pain you have me in and why cant you just hold me close and say its all ok and that you love me? I cant hide the tears i am tired of hiding my fears. My eyes cant take it anymore i cant either. So please love me or hate me show me dont make me go through all this pain just for you to be happy!