“FAKE” Dread Locked Dumpster Diver

Not by choice this average
bonehead configured Earthlinked
Bozo went kicking, and screaming
into refuse bin

naturally (no questions asked,
nor guffaws uttered) with chin
clamped tight, since the missus
(by some rare, min

ness school, one in a
bajillion chancy pin
in a haystack fluke
of circumstance) sin

gull handed dropped,
the entire set of keys (YES) vin
dick heave lee into
the morbid, horrid

and fetid weeks old
garbage filled dumpster,
this an absolute zero - no win
ning situation, roundly pitched

against a cosmic malicious yin
hmm..., a hunch shot
thru my mind, that she,
whose first name simply Abby

blithely, casually,
and deliberately tossed
the only set of keys free
lee (for sole access

to our apartment, plus
the singular way to start our car,
a 2009 Hyundai Sonata
as if that makes sum difference),

and with her sinister glee
fully, excitedly, and coquettish lee,
plus maniacally, preternaturally,
and snidely wanted me

to sink deep into the
junk yard rabid dog gone,
maggot and rat
infested stinking pit pre

venting no more violent
fisticuff altercations getting re
tally lit tory revenge e'er since
(I readily, stoically,

and tacitly admit),
this blowhard good
for nothing husband drunken deal
O meg odd, Sigma Epsilon

former frat boy,
who weathered
volleyed unspooled evil
epithet laced expletives

both of us suffering fools dell
lose hen null, asper
this match made in hell
your truly inflicting (measure

for measure) un intel
ledge gent till hurtful heaping
glomming pell mell
more'n a death knell

feline times nine
lifetimes of misery hard sell
tum ma crony's, a
worthless corny soul

shucked aye tell
each of our base grotesqueness
equally receiving our
deserved respective weltanschauung

headstrong shouldering keel well
ling kneecaps, and toes
oven angry papa
no match for an absurd

albeit, one petsmart mama bird,
twittering cruelly, emasculating
my manhood, curd
dill ling, and excoriating

thine ego, gird
ding mine entire being
with accursed damnation heard,
this side of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,

sans her blistering, unswerving,
and weltering wicked wrathfulness,
yawping fiendish zeal,
she malevolently espoused
with every scathing word.