Like Father Like Daughter

I always distanced myself from you,
telling myself I was nothing like you.
You were self pitying, self destructive and never accepted help because you “didn’t need it”.
For a long time it seemed like you didn’t care about anyone but yourself.  
But I’ve learned.
You are self pitying.
But it’s hard not to be when everything in your life seems wrong.
When no matter what you try you end up failing.
When you never get better.
It takes everything you have to get through the next day.
You are self destructive.
But why couldn’t you see it after all those signs?
It’s not up to you to decide how to take your medication and in what order.
It’s not your choice to go off your medication when you choose because you don’t think it’s working.
It was never up to just you.
You needed help.
But you refused to see how sick you were.
And when you struggled through that depression and everything else, your life was in shambles.
But you never needed help, you were always right, the doctors were wrong.
They gave you the wrong pills.
Look at you now. Sick again...All because you didn’t get help when you needed it.
You always cared.
You always cared about me and my sister, even if you didn’t know how to show it.
You always cared about my mom,  even if  now you refuse to admit it.
But you’re forgetting how to care.
You’re forgetting how to be a father.
I always distanced myself from you,
Telling myself I was nothing like you
But I’ve learned.
I am selfish, I am self pitying, I am self destructive and I don’t want help.
I am depressed and trying to survive life day to day.
I need help that I don’t want.
I am my fathers daughter.