Feelings

Back against the wall,
Head in my hands.
Hot tears begin to fall,
Down my soft cheeks without my command.

My heart sinks inside my chest,
I feel it. The pain.
I try to take a deep breath, but I can’t.
I’m going insane.

I let my arms limply fall,
And clench my hands into fists.
Before I know it i’m starting to bawl,
I feel as if happiness for me will never exist.

No one will see the scars,
That were left by everything and everyone.
My wrists, my thighs, and especially my heart.
I’ve always lived in the dark shadows of the sun.

I sit in the dark,
And imagine a better life.
Ones where I can still hear my dogs bark, 
And not pour my pain out with a knife.

I’ve tried to ask for help, 
But everyone just leaves me. 
They don’t ask if I’m okay when I yelp,
Even if i’m hurt badly.
I’m on the floor bleeding,
Crying for mercy.

When no one comes I stare blankly,
At an imaginary land where I feel happy.